Anja Schneider: Interesting. I never had this experience where people touched me or came too close.
Sometimes I got passed pieces of paper, and people were asking if they could marry me. Some really dreadful ones, and this was meant to be somehow cute.
I mean, of course, we all probably had this experience where we got some shitty offers. I mean, also in the business. I was just like, “Wow, what the fuck, is this true?” And I learnt to handle this, and I was never complaining because I found a solution for myself, and I blamed them, and never had to speak out. But, of course, this happens, but never from the crowd, that they were touching me or something.
DJ Minx: We’re playing for these kids now, we got the young ones out here, I’m like “I actually could be your mom, baby.” I could be your parent, get out of here. It’s like the notes, “Can you come home with us?” I’m like, “Baby, I could be your actual parent. Take your ass home. No, honey. I have a daughter your age. Get your ass out of here.”
But it’s crazy. The things these people say! Yes, it’s funny now, but back then, it would be like, “Come on now.”
Did each of you have mentors along the way?
DJ Minx: OK, so Jerry was actually a DJ as well as a school teacher. As far as the mentorship goes, I would consider Jerry and a young lady named Sarena Tyler. She’s a therapist, but she was also a DJ, and still is a DJ. She walked me through a lot of the positives and things that I needed to look at, and the things that I should or shouldn’t do as a DJ. And she was very encouraging.
I also looked up to Kevin Saunderson, but this was before I knew him. I knew that he had produced music and started techno, but I didn’t know his entire backstory. But it so happened that someone I was dating was his best friend. So I started going to KMS Records and just watching him in production, and he was just nice, right out the gate. When a friend of mine said, “You know, she wants to be a DJ,” he was like, “Really, really, OK, I can’t wait to see that happen.”
Fast forward to today, and he’s one of my best friends, so at this point, he is very, very supportive. As grown-ups we still collect mentors, and I, as well, provide mentorship to mostly women. A lot of gay people come to me now, since I came out, and look for the support and the mentorship. So I offer it to everyone.
As far as Kelli goes, she was a great friend. I knew her. We hung out a few times. I knew that she was the first woman who had a label here in Detroit, which was very impressive. So I started listening to all of her music. When I started my label, she did a remix for me. Didn’t get it out, but I was with her the night she passed, which was very tough.
We were at a club called the Marble Bar in Detroit, and the gentleman who was the promoter for the night said, “I don’t know why Kelli’s not here yet. It was weird, she came here last night looking for you,” and I said, “For me?” And he’s like, “Yeah, and she was demanding that she and you and her were playing the party.”
And so I texted her, and I was like, “Girl, what time are you coming?” or whatever. And I didn’t get a response from her. And then the night that I was playing, I was playing until she started at 12.30. I signalled the promoter and said, “Have you heard from Kelli?” He’s like, “No.” And I was like, “Well, I hope she didn’t confuse it as last night and she’s not going to come,” or whatever.
And so at about 12.27, she’s standing in front of the booth. She had a mask on, and she’s looking at me, and I was like, “Get up here,” because that’s how we always talk to each other “Hey girl,” or whatever. She was with two women.
Those two women had her each arm and arm, and she was holding on to them. I pulled her hand in and I said, “Hey baby.” But she didn’t say anything. I said, “Are you OK, baby?” And she didn’t say anything. I said, “Baby, if you are sick, you don’t have to play. OK?”
It’s past 12.30 now, and she’s still standing there. I said, “I heard you came last night on the wrong night!” or whatever, and she still didn’t say anything. And I said, “OK, Kelli, you talk to me, baby. If you don’t want to play, we’ll talk to the promoter.” And she said, “No, no, I’m good.”
“OK,” I said, “I’ll play another one.”
Now it’s 12.35 going into 12.40. I mixed in a track, and I took my headphones out, and she stood there, and she was lifeless, standing in front of the crowd. She had a flash drive, and she held it up to me. She didn’t know where to put it. I was like, “Well, come on, we’ll put it right here, put it on the drive.”
She had her headphones, and then she was fiddling, putting it in the mixer. I said, “Baby, what is wrong? Kelli, what’s wrong, boo?” She didn’t say anything.
My track is running out at this point. She’s shaking her head. She said, “I can’t hear, why? Why do I hear your music? I want to hear my music.”
She didn’t know how to cue. She didn’t know how to press the cue button. I said, “Kelli, what is wrong? I got it. I got it. I’m staying right here.”
She let the track run out. She couldn’t get the first, second, or third mix. But I stayed there. She kept saying she was OK. Now it’s like, something is wrong.
My friends that were at the table were like, “What’s going on?” I said, “There’s something wrong. I think she’s not feeling good or something, but she still wants to play.”
She tried to play but she was messing up her mixes. So I got my phone out and I started recording her, and I was like, “Something’s wrong, Kelli, I don’t know what it is.”
I didn’t stay all night, but little did I know that a day and a half, two days later, someone would call me and said that she drove home, and the neighbour noticed she drove up into the yard. She didn’t park. She drove up into the yard, slept in her car for a long time, and then stumbled into the house, and she passed away that night.
Her mom found out I was with her, and had someone call me, and I apologised, and then I said, “I’m so sorry. I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what it could be, so I didn’t know how to react, she was telling me she was OK.”
I said, “But wait a minute. I videoed her,” and her mom was screaming like, “Oh my god, send me the video,” and I sent it to only her. I don’t know if they said it was part of a stroke that she had had the night before.
But she went, and she lay down on the couch and that was it. That was rough. She was a great producer, a great person, and I always looked up to her.
DJ Paulette: I think that’s one of the hardest things, in this industry anyway, is that wellness aspect. ‘The show must go on.’ That moment of actually having to admit your vulnerability and say, “I can’t do this, I need to go…” I mean, that is just the most heartbreaking story [about Kelli]. Kelli Hand is one of my biggest inspirations, musically. I mean, all of you guys, absolutely in Detroit, you’re the reason why I’m doing what I’m doing, everything that you’ve created, and everything, particularly you, Jennifer, with the Women On Wax…
I remember when Women On Wax started. I remember being at a conference. I think it was a Billboard conference in New York one time when it had all just started, and it was all really kicking off with Women On Wax, and people were saying, “She’s getting all these female DJs together, because she is saying this about the industry and what we need to do.” So it’s a massive inspiration for me.
I just feel so fucking honoured to be sitting on a Zoom with both of you. Maybe we don’t play the same music, but I could see what both of you were doing, and I could hear what both of you were doing, and I was like, Jesus, thank you for being there and doing the things you do and saying the things you say. But I’ve never really had that kind of mentor at my side. I have never, hand on heart, had a mentor, and this scares me every time I say it, but I have to say it, because it’s true.
There was nobody at my side that directed me, or that I could ask for advice. There was either a sense of competition or threat, and people did not really share information readily.
And maybe I didn’t ask either. You have to ask people to show you. There is that type of mentorship where you go to them, or there’s the mentorship where someone takes you under their wing. I haven’t had a tight set of women. I’ve never really had that kind of relationship with people until now. I’m glad it has come later on, but I get upset with myself thinking I could have made my life a lot easier if I’d coughed up that fur ball a lot earlier.